Oracular Vagina 2 (Jessi Guilford)

Fiction. A sex-change patient recovers from surgery to find herself mute, and vehicle to a truth-telling genetically engineered vagina. World leaders arrive to consult said vagina, and there may also be a wacky neighbor. Companion site to Oracular Vagina Takes Her Place, which no longer exists as such.

Sunday, August 29, 2004

OFFICER SETH ADEUX's NOTES regarding the VEHICLE'S interactions with ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER



7/15/04. Hollywood. Called to scene by neighbor CURTIS SHUCKS in assault of GOV. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER. Assailant present. Interviews conducted with Gov., Shucks, assailant. Arrived at scene 6:37 AM from dispatch at 6:16 AM.

Gov.: poss. concussion, minor injuries. Assailant and neighbor had called 911 disp. to remove, treat Gov. Officer assisted Gov., Shucks in untying garden hose.

assailant: mute? transsex? prost.? distressed, could not be interviewed. (someone w/ SL. training?) ID as Edmund Ludens, 31, addr. out of date (or not his residence?). Woman's nightgown. kept trying to leave scene, had to be cuffed, detained in car. poss. illiterate?, wrote "OtHElLo" on pad declined further statement.

Neighbor reports assailant emerging from her side of duplex early AM, approx. 0600. Upset, frightened. Mimed strangulation(?). Neighbor black, 53, no criminal history, no known AKAS. L-T res.

claims watering lawn. Assailant emerged, followed short time later by Gov. Shucks inconsistent on tripping Gov. w/ garden hose: he / assailant did it. Gov. emerged, was tripped, assailant used ice chest to strike Gov. on head until unconscious.

Gov's hand cut off, affixed w/ duct tape to shoulder. Med. estimate at hospital 8-16 h. prior. search Luden's apt. no saws, blood, narcotics. Poss. forced ent. @ patio doors.

Gov. declined to P.C. @ scene but removed by amb., incoh., statement "girly-man, manly-girl." "How many fingers?" 3 correct. "What year?" 2014. "Who's Prez?" "Not me." BAC undet.

search revealed vicodin Rx pocket. Rxing doctor N. N. RETIA, no known M.D. this name.

removed to UCLA MC, follow-up interview pending recovery. Assailant turned over at station, prints, interrogated, released, no chg. Case closed by Det. w/o chgs., 8/26/04.


(Story continues at YEAST.)

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